Here’s what I wrote in my journal this morning before the doctor’s appointment:
For now I have to keep the faith. I don’t know what lies in wait for me at the doctor. But, I have faith in the God who walks with me. And, for good or short, my life is in that God’s hands, not mine, and not the hands of men. This is what I tell myself. Again and again.
It’s not a promise that God will do what I want. And it’s not a bitter feeling that He’ll do the opposite. It is a statement that, whatever happens, He’s in it with me. And that comforts me and calms me.