Dread, Hope and Moving On

I’m feel like I’m winding down on the dramatic ups and downs of this emotional roller coaster (though I did manage to have a fun few moments of extreme anger this afternoon as predicted in a recent post; but these have passed for now).
On a slightly positive note (at least I find it positive) I have finally made it to the point of being able to talk about the ectopic pregnancy situation without crying.  I know I’ve still got a few hills and valleys to ride through,  but still feel like progress has been made.

And I can finally wear pants with buttons again; who knew I’d be so excited about that?  They’re not super comfortable yet, but they don’t cause massive pain either.  So, that’s kind of a win.  Finding little things to be grateful for helps me get through the day.  Thus, pants equal a moment of “Hooray!” I appreciate being able to wear something other than sweatpants, t-shirt dresses or skirts out of the house.

One more major hurdle remains: meeting with my fertility docs on Wednesday for my post-op appointment.  Here I get to make sure I’m okay post-surgery.  Not super worried about that part.

The other part is where the dread/hope part kicks in.  The part about figuring out what this means for future attempts to have kids scares me, and it means we have to make decisions.  No, they’re not entirely urgent – but they’re more than just wake up, breathe and survive today.  Either keep on trucking with the fertility craziness for another round or two once the doc says ok, wait awhile, or quit altogether.  And that’s depending on what my actual options are.  Prayers as we figure out what God’s leading us towards are much appreciated.

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