Yesterday was an off day and feeling somewhat bleak, I exited class last night while giant snowflakes were rapidly falling from the night sky. I managed to catch a snowflake or two on my tongue before anyone could see me acting like a crazy person. While most of my classmates were sighing and groaning at the onset of winter, I was reminded of a post I wrote on a now defunct blog about a decade ago, called Manna in the Wilderness; and the snow last night had a similar effect as it did back then. I’ve posted the original below.
Today as I was leaving class, giant snowflakes were falling down. The size just perfectly big to catch on your tongue. So I danced around the parking lot with my mouth open and tongue sticking out, trying to taste a few of the glittering flakes. I let the oversized crystals catch in my eyelashes. And I wrapped myself in the comfort of that simple joy. I’m sure any passersby must have thought I was crazy. But I didn’t care. I just revelled in the gracious gift of snow.
And to me this week, the snow has been like the manna that God rained down for the Israelites. The manna provided nourishment and hope to the Israelites while they were wandering lost in the wilderness. They wandered unsure of where they were going, and they made mistakes. But God was there throughout that time nurturing, sustaining this stiff-necked people. Manna was a tangible sign of God’s enduring faithfulness.
And this brings me hope. For me, the hard part in the cancer process is not the trusting God part so much as the discerning, “what is God up to?” What is God’s will? And what provides the greatest amount of angst is I don’t know. And I don’t know how to pray. I wait, and I watch. And I speculate. But I don’t know. The not knowing is right now the hardest thing. The Israelities didn’t know where they were going either.
But here in the moment, dancing in the snow, I realize there’s a light shining in the darkness. I see a tangible sign of God’s enduring faithfulness. A gift of hope and a nurturing touch from the God I dearly love. A sign that he dearly loves me in more than an abstract, intellectual way. An intimate touch in my life. And for today its enough.
Afterall, this is what manna was. Nourishment for today. You didn’t get to store up manna. You just took your one day supply. Faith carries you till tomorrow. Faith in the God who keeps his promises. His promise is, not that we shall never see rough patches, but that he is with us, sustaining us in all things. And that no one and no thing can snatch us out of his hand.