All Shook Up

022716 Like A River Flows

Like a river flows surely to the sea… and this stream in Maui does head out to the ocean.

Pulling into the parking lot for an appointment, a vintage tune drifted out of the speakers. The radio caught me by surprise. Initially eager to turn off the car, I paused and listened.

The old Elvis Presley love song, Can’t Help Falling in Love, (written by George David Weiss, Hugo Peretti and Luigi Creatore), took on new meaning as I heard Haley Reinhart’s rendition. What was a familiar classic became more. It became worship.

Sacred and secular music blur together occasionally for me; for another example, see this post on Walk the Moon’s Shut Up and Dance with Me, though I feel a little less exuberant about forward progress these days than I did when I wrote the post. (And if listening to regular radio stations makes me a “bad” Christian, I’ll wear that sticker with panache.)

Unexpectedly, as Haley Reinhart crooned, the lyrics summed up how I feel about God. Whether others may think I’m an idiot for following God, whether others might think the life of faith is foolish, I can’t help falling in love with Jesus. And ultimately, whether I turn out to be wrong in the end or not, I can’t help falling in love with Jesus. Faith isn’t incompatible with reason, and yet sometimes faith and love lead to leaps my reason can’t comprehend at that time.

Though God often doesn’t answer my prayers the way I hope, I can’t help falling in love with Him. And in particular, even as God has seemed silent on the whole infertility front, or at least God hasn’t swooped in to save the day, I still find myself falling in love. God eventually wins my heart every time.

Tears bubbled up. Apparently as I age, I’m becoming a bit of a crier. I pretty much hate that, but I’m learning to live with it.

“Take my hand. Take my whole life too.”

These words are harder now than when I was young. Young meaning my teens and early 20s. Saying “yes” to Jesus with my whole life seemed simpler when I had fewer responsibilities and my future abounded with opportunities.

Now it means something more difficult. Saying “yes” to Jesus means saying “no” to some of the dreams I once had for myself.

Here’s my life, God. Even if J and I never have biological children, I’m still in this relationship with you. Even if I find myself disappointed with Your seeming silence, I’m still, to borrow the poker phrase, all in.

“For I can’t help falling in love with You.”


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