Hungry for mercy: thoughts on comparison, prayer, and Luke 18

clouds on Mauii

Fear settled in like the rain clouds this week. Not a torrential downpour, but a misty trickle that has me wanting to pull blankets over my head and hide. Like a scared dog, I want to tuck my tail and slink under the couch waiting for the threat of thunder to pass.

I want to hunker down and armor up, praying God will somehow vindicate me. I play the me vs the world game.

It’s bananas. It’s unhealthy. I know it.

And it still took me about twenty-four hours to find a bigger perspective while my feelings roamed all over the place and the lies weighed in heavier and heavier.

I consulted Jesus. What I wanted was vindication.

What I needed was grace. Continue reading

The more, the merrier.

Earlier this week I posted on the importance of stories for shaping the way we live. As an exercise in conscious storytelling, I’m sharing stories influencing my views on immigration, refugees and discipleship.

Essentially this post explores three questions:

  1. How do I understand myself as an American?
  2. How do I see refugees?
  3. What are the expectations of a disciple of Jesus?

As we explore together, my point is not converting you to my perspective, but the process of open and conscious storytelling. These stories frame the way I approach the world, and rather than having you agree or think I’m neat-o, I hope the stories encourage you to consider your own life, reactions, and core values.

Agreement is not required, but respect is. Continue reading

Rediscovering the importance of story

tigers

When I challenged my home congregation to read Luke in the month of February, little did I know that challenge would leave me reading the whole book in the first three days of the month. I saturated myself in Jesus’ words the last couple of days.

I needed it.

The last couple of weeks, for me, feel like waking to some nightmarish alternate reality. Each day brings news reports that violate my core values.

I’m an INFP on the Myers-Briggs. The salient point about my personality: I delight in seeing the world through other people’s perspectives, and I hate conflict. Right up to the point where my core values are tripped, and then I am a rampaging tiger with roaring feelings and little logic.

I can handle disagreement and questions. I do not react well to shame, control or folks who bully or ridicule others, especially those who are marginalized or are weaker than them. I lose my mind. Poof. Out comes the tiger from normally placid me. Continue reading

On Doubt and the Road to Emmaus

121515 Holy Yoga

Two downtrodden disciples walk out of Jerusalem on their way to Emmaus (Luke 24:13-35).  The past few years of their lives feel like a complete waste of time. The man on whom they banked their hopes and futures was crucified. Dreams of God’s triumph, justice and restoration, smashed as their Lord hung up on a cross slowly suffocating. Where did his power go? Were his words really true? Will they too be hunted down as criminals? Guilty by association? And so they walked away from Jerusalem. Bewildered. Beaten down. Lost.

I think this is why the road to Emmaus sings to me, and why it might be my favorite passage. Ever have those moments where you’ve fallen flat on your face and you wonder where God went? Thought you were following God only to have Him seemingly disappear? Encountered disappointing defeat that makes you feel you’ve been following a fraud? And in response, found yourself trudging on whatever road you can find on your flight out of where you’re called to be?

Continue reading